Since I am working in the food industry, the following analogy came to
mind as I sat opposite the table from the one person, I have spent 30
years with. He has thus been my confidant, lover, partner, creator of
humans and the building partner of our children’s environment and the
most important part of my life up to this point. We have created a
union; most will call it a marriage; we now call it a partnership. We
had to build our institution from scratch, without the help of our
parents or inherited wealth. Maybe that was the problem… We were so
focused on building a future that we forgot that for us to work, we
needed to focus on the love union before anything else and protect our bubble with the unwavering respect it deserved.
So
many people get so caught up in life that they not only forget to
breathe and nurture their friendships and extended family bonds, but
they forget to nurture their love interest as well. We too made this mistake as our parents did. We had
no forewarning or guidance along the way, and we failed to prioritize
our soul connection.
Well although we have dropped a very
integral part of being a marital union, we have done everything else
according to the book to create a healthy and safe environment for our
children. I am proud of where we both are in our own personal growth,
and we realize and embrace the fact that we are a union with a purpose.
We accept our shortcomings, and we vowed to keep building on a bright
future for our beautiful blessings of children as we did up until this
point.
But, as with every healthy night we have set out to
regroup, asses, plan forward and share our needs and hopes for the
future, in order to dispel the generational curses hung around our necks
at birth, I realized something so profound, I don’t think it possible
to ever return back to my old self. We do what we can to the abilities
in our power and attained wisdom, to be the best versions of ourselves.
There can be no judgement or regret. This was first and foremost our
communal goal from day one and we are attaining just that. The fact that
we did not protect our core relationship as lovers with the same
passion we did our children and our mission to build a future for our
offspring, is something we both regret. We now know that our love for each other and newfound respect will keep us in each other’s lives
in the years to come. Our roles in each other’s lives have just been
redefined and it’s beautiful.
And as confusing as some of our discussions are, I realized that anyone could love a spectacular soul irrelevant of our preconceived ideas of what our
partner should be for us. We have to put aside our fantastical picture
we conjured up in our heads of what our perfect partner should look
like, since we are gifted another unique human to fill gaps and
shortcomings. It’s a gift.
The metaphorical thought that led to
this blog was the following: As you choose your meat, each unique piece
has its’ own delicate depths which one learns to appreciate if you take
the time to embrace the flavours. If you take your time before making a
choice of meat you will probably choose a better cut suited to your
pallet. And if you don’t know your cuts, it’s reassuring to know that
any cut matures with age, and you learn to appreciate it for the
flavours it brings to the table.
With this in mind I know there
are new stories to write while we embrace and value the past, live in
the present and discover the future.
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